Jesus, Jesus

These past few weeks, I've run into more and more people that once where Christians, but have since "left the faith" or are "running away from God."

"Jesus hurt me."

"God wasn't there."

"How could he let this happen to me?"

There are millions of people struggling through what it means to believe in God, or what it looks like to have relationship with Him. They question His goodness and mercy through the existence of death, disease, poverty and war in this world.

Those things are out of our hands. As sons and daughters of the most high King, we know we must trust Him through it all, however hard it may be.

But there are other reasons for people turning away from God:

heartbreak.

abuse.

broken trust.

These are things we CAN control.

When someone tells me they have turned away from God, in the back of my mind I want to ask, "Who hurt you? Who was it that claimed they loved Jesus, and then turned around and broke your heart?"

I know this is not always the case. This pain does not always come from someone in the church and I realize a lot of pain stems from the examples I first listed, but we, as lovers of Jesus, should not be a source for it.

Way too many of God's children have been hurt by others' misrepresentations of Jesus.

"But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you'll soon wish you hadn't. You'd be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time" - Matthew 18:6

We, as lovers of Jesus, as purveyors of His love and grace and peace and joy, are held to a higher standard by others. In turn, we should hold ourselves to an even higher standard.

Christ lives in us. Our lives should be physical embodiments of Him and what He represents.

Anything short of that is a diservice to those of this world that need Him the most.

We don't need more Christians. We have plenty of those.

What we need are more passionate lovers of Christ, who actually live out the values of love, peace, joy and forgiveness that we so easily preach about on Sundays.

Just something to think about. Let it challenge you or speak to you as it will.

much love Sons and Daughters

Picture this...2...

My vision for this new generation...and a school to awaken this new generation now goes by the name of G42 U. I cannot be more excited to get this show on the road. By August 2013, our plan is to have this on the ground in Fredericksburg, Tx:

Age:
18-19 years old

Length:
9 months (August 26 - May 15)

Location:
Fredericksburg, Tx

Goal:
Confidence in their identity in Christ
awaken to the passions instilled in their heart
recognize gifts
vision for their lives
discipleship, community, freedom and grace, authority and inheritance

Skills:
basic life skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, finances, etc.)
handyman skills (woodwork, electrics, plumbing, automotive, etc.)
self-sustainability (gardening, livestock, business)
adventure aspect (rock climbing, backpacking, mountain biking, camping, etc)

What will we do?

We will awaken the hearts of high school graduates to the passions God has given them. We will instill Kingdom values through discipleship, community and adventure. And bring confidence to their identity in Christ while providing vision for their lives.

There's a ton to do this next year. And the weight of responsibility sits heavy on my shoulders. It's not unbearable...but it does sit heavy. It appears God has been preparing me for something like this my whole life, but I'll be the first to tell you I don't feel qualified. What could I possibly have to offer such an incredible vision? I don't know yet...but with my Papa's help, I'm going to figure it out! Can't wait to get home and get this show on the road.

much love Sons and Daughters of God,

Knox

Picture this...

Can you picture a generation of people fully alive? Not just a beating heart...but a beating soul, fully awakened to what God has called them to.

Can you a picture a world of people living in true freedom? With a liberty to have dominion over the earth through their unique gifts and abilities to accomplish God's will for them on earth. And then to serve others with that God given purpose.

Can you picture a generation free from the yoke of oppression? Free of fear, laziness, low self-esteem and selfishness? A generation free from low self-worth, greed, lack of creativity, distrust of people and a lack of initiative?

Hard to imagine isn't it? All of these things sound great, ideal ways to live...but ultimately, just another fantasy. Something that would be nice to have, but just too far beyond our reach as the human race. And therein lies the problem.

We live within a world suffering from lack of purpose. We have fallen prey to the lie that we're not good enough, that our dreams are too big, and that we don't have what it takes to live a bigger, better story.

And until purpose is discovered , life has no meaning.

Solution: awake the sleepers. Awaken their hearts to the passions instilled in them by God at birth. To help them realize who they are. Define identity. And once identity in Christ is defined, with passions and giftings realized, they can go out into the world, free from oppression, living in true freedom, fully alive.

Now, picture a school that focuses on developing just that! Awakening hearts and stirring passions in the lives of high school graduates while teaching them valuable life skills and forcing them out of their comfort zones through a series of adventures. Interested?

I'm looking to rise up a new generation...

For Love of the Game

It's hard not to be romantic about baseball.

I grew up playing. America's greatest pastime. I grew up watching movies like The Natural, Sandlot, and Field of Dreams that instilled within me a passion and love for the game I still find difficulty describing in words.

My dream was always to play in college. No desire to make it to the big leagues...not that I thought I ever could, but the pureness of the game at the university level always had my heart.

Ever since I started pitching, I was constantly told about my potential. My height, my length, my mechanics...it all fell in my favor. I was going places. Multiple years working one-on-one with an ex-MLB pitcher. He told me I was going places. All I heard was potential. Potential. Potential.

On a whim, I started throwing bullpens at Trinity University, a successful D3 baseball club. Within a couple weeks, their catching coach, pitching coach and head coach all came out to watch me throw. More potential. My size, mechanics, teachability and presence on the mound...undeniable, and Trinity wanted me to come on their pitching staff. Worked my butt off in the weight room and on the mound...and another season of little playing time and hearing more, "Potential."

I still love the game. Field of Dreams still brings tears to my eyes. But I grew tired of hearing the words potential. No matter how much potential I had, it seems I could never reach it. It was all there physically, but mentally, something wasn't clicking. My patience began to wear thin. It appeared my life was heading in a direction other than baseball, I said goodbye, and moved to Waco.

Leadership.

Something else that has been put on me for as long as I can remember. Through different ministries I've been involved with, camps I've worked at, and mission trips I've been on, "Leader" has always been spoken over me.

But through any chances I had to lead, it always seemed like I let the ball drop. Any opportunity that was placed in front of me, I just stood still, shrinking back into the silence. It frustrated me. Broke me down. Definitely had feelings of not measuring up, inadequacy, and much like baseball, I was tired of hearing this word spoken over me. I wanted to see action! I wanted to see "Leader" come to fruition!

Enter: the inciting incident.

G42

Not just another cool thing that I can add to my resume. Not just another adventure for the sake of a notch on the belt. This would be my last stop. No more flitting around, playing silly little games with my life.

This would be my last stop before heading out and passionately pursuing the things God would put on my heart. And over these past four months, He's done just that. Not only has He made the desires of my heart clear, but He's restored in me a confidence I've been lacking for a while. "Leader" isn't something I hear and strive to be. It's what I am. Who I am. "Potential" isn't something always beyond my grasp. It's here. I'm taking it. And there's a lot to cash in on.

I'll be writing some more in these next couple days that will bring more clarity as to what I'll be doing. For now, know this. This isn't a matter of the mind anymore, but the heart.

Ice cold brain, red hot heart.

Something has come alive in me that the world has been waiting to see. The world needs it. From me. And I'm going to give it to them. First, I'll be starting a training school in Fredericksburg, Tx (more on that soon).

And second, I'll be returning to the baseball diamond. Time to take back the mound and dominate like I should have years ago. I've started up workouts again, pushing hard to play competitively again within the next two years!

I'll be taking back my stolen inheritance from Satan, falling prey to those lies no more...so...sucks to suck Satan.

Come on, Jesus.

One of my favorite clips from Field of Dreams. Enjoy! (Cue goosebumps...and tears)

much love Sons and Daughters of God.

Knox

Legacy

I know of a stump. The remains of a 750 year old tree.

I visit that stump and study its rings.

I talk to it.

I look for it's fat rings and ask, "How many floods and rainy seasons have you been through?"

I find skinny rings and wonder, "How many droughts?"

I look for burn marks, lightning strikes and bear claw scratches.

I say, "You have been through a lot, tree. You've withstood the tests of time. Through the good and bad, rainy and dry. You've seen a lot of things, important things, things that have shaped this nation."

"But you are just a stupid, old tree."

"No one is going to remember you, or how tall you were, or all the things you have lived through and seen."

"At one time you were magnificent, towering and worthy of awe. Now you're a stump."

"I am a Son of the most high God. The all powerful, all loving, eternal God."

"ETERNAL God."

"Though I will one day pass, my legacy will live one. The branches that flow from me will continue to grow and grow and grow."

"Though my name will be forgotten generations from now, the legacy I leave in righteousness will carry on."

(based off a talk given by Ted Hanson. Check out his ministry academy at: http://schoolofeagles.com/)

Generational righteousness. What we're doing here on earth goes much, much further than our life time. Like the wake of a boat, the decisions we make will affect the lives of thousands during, or after, our time here. What kind of legacy are you leaving?

Much love Sons and Daughters of God

Knox

Wake up, Oh Sleeper!

But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Wake up, Oh sleeper and rise up from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." - Ephesians 5:13-14

The longer I am here, the more I struggle with patience in waiting on my Father to make some of His plans for me known. I sit through class after class with a stirred heart, at some points just wanting to jump up, let out a fierce battle cry and run out of the classroom, straight into the war that wages on this earth, for the hearts and souls of the broken, poor and powerless. But I don't know where to go! Or what my General is calling me to fight! There's so much to charge against out there. There's so many different things I could dive headlong into and give my whole self, fighting for the rest of my life! Just send me already, God!!! Tell me what to do. Direct me where to go. I feel I'm getting restless. I AM getting restless.

But God knows my strengths. He also knows my weaknesses and what skills and character traits I need to be equipped with before He sends me out. My God knows exactly where I will inflict the most damage on our enemy and be able to most effectively charge forward for the Kingdom. But at this point, He's still doing work on me, still training me. And despite not knowing where I'm going to be sent, or what I'm going to be doing, He's consistently highlighting this one thing in my spirit:

WAKE UP!! ARISE FROM THE DEAD!! Man of God, you see bones lying in this valley...I SEE AN ARMY!! 

 This theme, awakening the souls of men and women to the greatness God has called them to, continues to run through my mind. I know God is calling me to take part in this. To take leadership over the reviving of the hearts of the dead. To lead those that are hungry for more, but find themselves caught in a rut. To show what a life fully impassioned, fully ignited for what God's calling you to should look like. To head out in adventure and risk and prove to the prisoners of our culture and society that's it's okay to step out of the jail cell they've known for so long, and embrace the FREEDOM God has for them!!

Shoot. That gets me fired up. Again, I don't know exactly what venue that will take, or where I'll be doing it...but I know I'll be doing it. Hopefully this stirs you a little too. Maybe not to the degree it does me, but at least a little. We all have a part in awakening hearts for the Kingdom. We all have a call to bring His Kingdom down here on earth. So LEGGO.

much love Sons and Daughters of God.

Knox

Divine Romance

I finished reading the book "The Divine Romance" by Gene Edwards. Agh. What a beautiful and fresh perspective on what it means to have relationship with our Father. here's an excerpt from the prologue:

"He was alone. The first tick of time had never sounded, nor had the unending circle of eternity yet commenced. There was neither things created nor things uncreated to share space with him. He dwelt in an age before the eternals, where all there was...was God. Nor was there space for anything else. He was the uncreated. He was the ALL. In this non-time of so long ago, there was but one life form...the highest life. He was also love."

Throughout the history of the world, God been looking for a counterpart to share his love with, someone that can return the love. So man was created in his image. And once created, God said "It is not good for man to be alone." So from the side of man, came the rib that God used to build woman. The counterpart for man...hidden inside him the whole time. So man had woman...

...but it is not good that God should be alone.

As the Israelites make camp, waiting for Moses to return from Mt. Sinai, they scurry around, thinking of ways to honor the Lord that delivered them from captivity. The Lord listens in as the people make plans to serve him with their lives, offer up their silver and gold, obey his every command and worship him with their whole beings.

A deep sadness now disturbed the face of the Lord, for he was contemplating the response he had heard from his people. A long, deep groan of sorrow, unheard by human ears but shattering the tranquility of the entire heavenly host, rose up from his depths. 'I did not require of you your wealth nor coins of gold. What need have I of these? I did not ask of you that you serve me. Do I, the Mighty One, need to be waited upon? Neither did I ask of you your worship nor your prayers nor even your obedience.' He paused. Once more a long, mournful groan rose from his breast. 'I have asked but this of you, that you love me...love me...love me.'

All he desires from us is love. Worship and offering and obedience to his will is all a bi-product of our love for him. You've probably heard that we are to be his Bride. This book gives such a new, beautiful perspective on that. Individually, but as a whole, God pursues us like his Bride. And he's just looking for the love he's shown us to be returned. Like husband and wife.

Shoot. This book just brought so much more life to God for me. He has feelings that can be hurt...just like me. We were created in his image, after all. He is to be worshiped and exalted and held up high on his throne, but too often I hold him there, not allowing him to come down to earth to be near me, like a best friend that can cry with me, hurt with me but also laugh with me and go on adventures with me.

A week ago, I took a short bus ride into town with some friends to go worship at a local's apartment. Something like forty people crammed in, representing seventeen or eighteen different nations. It was beautiful to sit back and watch this forty-something group of people fellowship and worship, with basically the only common denominator being a love for Jesus. Man. The body of Christ. His Bride. Living and breathing and pursuing Him. 

Just about half the group that got together for a quick pic that night.

My time here continues to challenge, ignite and rock me.  I love being able to write and share my heart with you. May these things stir your heart as much as they do mine.

It's time we bring the body together and return his love, for it is not good that God should be alone.

much love Sons and Daughters of God

Knox

Fotos.

In the future, I plan on having more pictures as I post, but until then, here's a few from in and around Mijas:

                                       

View from my terrace.

Sunset in the streets.

View coming down from the mountain at the back of Mijas.  

Hiking into the clouds.

My apartment sits on the right. One of the most photographed streets in Southern Spain.

Overlook on the way to class.

I feel like I could walk arounf taking pictures for days and I still wouldn't be able to fully capture the beauty of this place. I'm not even sure it fully can be captured. But I'll do my best. Until next time!

much love Sons and Daughters of God,

Knox

Day in the life.

Wow. Already in the middle of my third week here in Mijas, Spain and I'm daily being challenged and pushed deeper than I've ever been. I've been getting slapped in the face by the Holy Spirit, spiritually and physically. Literally slapped. The head of G42, Andrew Shearman, is a fiery man of God that has a huge heart for challenging men to "quit playing silly little games" with their lives and rise up to claim the inheritance God has for them. He has challenged us to rise up among a culture of emasculated men and accept the call to greatness in Christ, where WE have domain over this earth. He gets so fired up, that he'll actually slap us men. It's so loving. So challenging. I intentionally get to class early for a front row seat, and make sure to wear contacts, not glasses, so he'll have more of my face to slap. It's brilliant! It stirs my heart and forces me to rise up as a man. There's an anointing in that slap that is incredible. I want more of it.

I digress. I'll save more for Shearman in another post. But I thought I'd give you a picture of what my week looks like here:

Monday through Thursday, we have class from 9:30 am to 12pm and then 2pm to 4pm. Throughout the semester, we'll have the directors of G42 as well as special guests from a wide range of ministries and organizations to teach us on subjects such as: Discerning Life's Calling, Leadership, Purpose, Equipping, New Covenant Realities, Social Entrepreneurship, The Culture of Non-Profits and many more.

The rest of the time is ours to spend however we wish, and to this point, most of that has been spent processing and praying through the lessons and revelations from each class. When not trudging through all this wisdom, you can find us adventuring as a community: hammocking, reading, slacklining, hiking through the mountains found at our backs, grabbing a drink at Roger's pub, or taking the bus down into Fuengirola and hitting the beach, shopping centers and restaurants. The world, at this point, is our playground, as it should be.

At the moment, there's two houses, each with about eight interns (students) in. Each week, cleaning and cooking responsibilities are divied up. Two are in charge of buying groceries for breakfast, lunch and cooking dinner for the week for each house and any visitors or teachers that come to visit. The rest set the table, do dishes, and are in charge of cleaning the house. It's been amazing to sit down to a home cooked meal from our friends and eat in great community, having that time filled with fruitful discussion and thoughts from the day.

The community here is incredible. Coming in, I was one of two people, out of eighteen interns, that hasn't gone on the World Race, an eleven month mission trip to eleven different countries. But despite the friendships already formed, we've wasted no time in diving in with complete vulnerability and open hearts ready for radical change and awakening.

Again, I can't wait to write more about my time here, readings I'm working through and revelations I'm having in my own walk. Let me know if there's any questions about all this stuff.

I'm off to class. Here we grow.

Much love Sons and Daughters of God

Knox

Wild Goose Chase

I've always loved to write...and so begins the process of making my thoughts, revelations and just more of my story open, to you, my friends, family and anyone else that may stumble across.

The Wild Goose Chase...

“Celtic Christians has a name for the Holy Spirit – An Geadh-Glas, or the ‘Wild Goose.’ The name hints at mystery. Much like a wild goose, the Spirit of God cannot be tracked or tamed. An element of danger, an air of unpredictability surround Him. And while the name may sound a little sacrilegious, I cannot think of a better description of what it’s like to follow the Spirit through life. I think the Celtic Christians were onto something…  

Most of us will have no idea where we are going most of the time. And I know that is unsettling. But circumstantial uncertainty also goes by another name: Adventure.”

This is an introduction to the book Wild Goose Chase, written by Mark Batterson, and honestly, I can't think of a better way to describe how I've felt pursuing the Spirit the past few years. Lots of questions. Lots of unanswered prayers. Lots of frustration as I've sought out what exactly God wants to do with me. 

And to what end?

Through transferring schools, gaining new community and opening my heart even wider to receive whatever it was God was trying to do in me, I still felt lost. With no vision, no understood purpose, it's impossible to fully apply yourself. Proverbs 29:18 even goes to say it's dangerous for a man to not know his purpose, that he "casts off restraint." I want to be dangerous FOR the Kingdom, not a danger TO it!

So what now? Well I love Batterson's quote on that "circumstantial uncertainty"...the adventure. I don't want to "arrive at death safely" but rather "start playing offense with my life...making daring plans."

The first of these daring plans involved moving to Mijas, Spain for six months to attend a leadership academy where I am believing my purpose will be made clear, vision will be gained and I will be equipped and sent out to fulfill that purpose! I've already been here a week and I'm expecting God to do huge things in my heart. For Him to break me down, refine me and prepare me to accept the responsibility He has for me here on earth.

Can't wait to share as He does work on me.

So here we grow.

much love, sons and daughters of God

Knox

Here's the link for Mark Batterson's book, Wild Goose Chase:

http://chasethegoose.com/

And here's a link for the school I'm attending this semester:

http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/