I grew up playing. America's greatest pastime. I grew up watching movies like The Natural, Sandlot, and Field of Dreams that instilled within me a passion and love for the game I still find difficulty describing in words.
My dream was always to play in college. No desire to make it to the big leagues...not that I thought I ever could, but the pureness of the game at the university level always had my heart.
Ever since I started pitching, I was constantly told about my potential. My height, my length, my mechanics...it all fell in my favor. I was going places. Multiple years working one-on-one with an ex-MLB pitcher. He told me I was going places. All I heard was potential. Potential. Potential.
On a whim, I started throwing bullpens at Trinity University, a successful D3 baseball club. Within a couple weeks, their catching coach, pitching coach and head coach all came out to watch me throw. More potential. My size, mechanics, teachability and presence on the mound...undeniable, and Trinity wanted me to come on their pitching staff. Worked my butt off in the weight room and on the mound...and another season of little playing time and hearing more, "Potential."
I still love the game. Field of Dreams still brings tears to my eyes. But I grew tired of hearing the words potential. No matter how much potential I had, it seems I could never reach it. It was all there physically, but mentally, something wasn't clicking. My patience began to wear thin. It appeared my life was heading in a direction other than baseball, I said goodbye, and moved to Waco.
Something else that has been put on me for as long as I can remember. Through different ministries I've been involved with, camps I've worked at, and mission trips I've been on, "Leader" has always been spoken over me.
But through any chances I had to lead, it always seemed like I let the ball drop. Any opportunity that was placed in front of me, I just stood still, shrinking back into the silence. It frustrated me. Broke me down. Definitely had feelings of not measuring up, inadequacy, and much like baseball, I was tired of hearing this word spoken over me. I wanted to see action! I wanted to see "Leader" come to fruition!
Enter: the inciting incident.
Not just another cool thing that I can add to my resume. Not just another adventure for the sake of a notch on the belt. This would be my last stop. No more flitting around, playing silly little games with my life.
This would be my last stop before heading out and passionately pursuing the things God would put on my heart. And over these past four months, He's done just that. Not only has He made the desires of my heart clear, but He's restored in me a confidence I've been lacking for a while. "Leader" isn't something I hear and strive to be. It's what I am. Who I am. "Potential" isn't something always beyond my grasp. It's here. I'm taking it. And there's a lot to cash in on.
I'll be writing some more in these next couple days that will bring more clarity as to what I'll be doing. For now, know this. This isn't a matter of the mind anymore, but the heart.
Ice cold brain, red hot heart.
Something has come alive in me that the world has been waiting to see. The world needs it. From me. And I'm going to give it to them. First, I'll be starting a training school in Fredericksburg, Tx (more on that soon).
And second, I'll be returning to the baseball diamond. Time to take back the mound and dominate like I should have years ago. I've started up workouts again, pushing hard to play competitively again within the next two years!
I'll be taking back my stolen inheritance from Satan, falling prey to those lies no more...so...sucks to suck Satan.
Come on, Jesus.
One of my favorite clips from Field of Dreams. Enjoy! (Cue goosebumps...and tears)
much love Sons and Daughters of God.